You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
