White coat. Heels.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
