I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
