Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I think I died a long time ago.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
