I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Randomize
