Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
