If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
My penis needs a shock collar
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Randomize
