I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
