I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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