...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
