Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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