It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
