I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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