If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
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