Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
