I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
