Duck Duck Cougar?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
