My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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