I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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