I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
why is half of my head shaved?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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