what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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