new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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