You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
