Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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