I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
