just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
