You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
