my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
