Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
