Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
