thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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