Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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