We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
