The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
