It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
