I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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