what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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