North Korea, Best Korea!
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Randomize
