we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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