i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
