I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
