I think I am morally bankrupt
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
