remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
