Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
