A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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