I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
