I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
What a dumb baby whore.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
