You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
