I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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