Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
where am i from again
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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